i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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