life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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