C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
