You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Everclear isn't food dammit
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
