You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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