Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
