I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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