Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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