Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
