I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Randomize
