whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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