Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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