Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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