He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The ass gains better be worth it
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