Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I wish there were birth control emojis
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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