I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
