So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
