Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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