remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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