Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
