A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize