you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
