did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
