I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
