In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
im holly from the hills drunk
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
