what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize