I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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