i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
