cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
