I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
