what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
