i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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