I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
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If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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