Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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