Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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