walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
