he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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