Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
