What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
