I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
