We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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