I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
