Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
