Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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