so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
