You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Randomize
