I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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