she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
