My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
