Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
