My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
tell your sister to shave her snatch
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
