I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Two words: blizzard sex
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
