I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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