my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
