he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
