when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
