Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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