i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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