I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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