I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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