You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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